I have more previews for All Out to do but this is burning in my head like Swerve Strickland’s childhood home.
Last night on AEW Dynamite, Swerve Strickland had to watch as Hangman Adam Page decided to skip a contract signing for their steel cage main event at AEW All Out on Saturday in favour of forcing Swerve to watch as something he cares about burned violently right before his very eyes.
It was one of the best segments All Elite Wrestling has ever done. It was great from an ironic sense (Swerve’s House, Hangman Page saying he would burn everything of Swerve’s to the ground) and it was great from an entertainment sense. Page delivered perfectly, Swerve could do nothing but lash in anger and sadness, and unlike an Exploding Death Match from 2021 this house absolutely exploded.
The majority of responses to this has been positive as to be expected. The fans chanting “THIS IS ARSON!” is both cute and great that they all came together for an original chant in the moment.
But then there was another response to it, which is people forgetting what professional wrestling is and somehow coming to the conclusion that this is all real and we witnessed a criminal offence.
It’s always bewildering to me how people who are allegedly grown adults who understand the difference between fiction and reality and claim they know pro wrestling is fake instantly revert into thinking pro wrestling is real and real crimes should be punished the moment they want to criticize something they see.
On the internet there’s something called CinemaSins which is a YouTube channel which lists all of the ways a movie can “sin” and often those sins are just pointing out things that shouldn’t be able to happen in reality. It’s a dumb premise and it has become a vulgar term to describe a way someone is trying to critique or discuss something in a movie.
Of course some things happen in a movie that could never happen in real life. It isn’t real life. It’s a movie. You are telling a story. You can create your own coincidence and you build your own laws of reality. While breaking your immersion can cause people to tune out, “movie magic” is an essential part of great movie making. Suspending your disbelief is required to watch movies.
Pro wrestling fandom recently has been obsessed with calling things cinema and just as good as movies or prestige television. And yet the moment something happens they don’t like as much as the thing they like? They have to find ways to state it’s unrealistic or unacceptable for a pro wrestling setting.
Is setting someone’s house on fire a crime? Of course it is. So is hitting someone with a steel chair. Here, enjoy a story that happened a few hours from me in London, Ontario, Canada where someone legitimately attacked someone with a steel chair and was charged with aggravated assault.
But you accept the steel chair because it’s been a part of pro wrestling for decades. Just like you accept people being put through a wooden table. And you accept multiple wooden tables under the ring for no good reason. And you accept attacking someone with a ladder. Attacking someone with a championship belt. You accept a kendo stick. You accept multiple forms of aggravated assault because THIS IS PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING AND PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING HAS ITS OWN RULES AND LAWS.
Even in the territory days when wrestlers would increase the violence against each other, it would eventually be argued that the police could have got involved to stop a wrestling feud but they agreed to let it be settled in the ring. Because that’s what they do in pro wrestling. They settle it in the ring.
How terrible of a storyline would it be if Hangman Page set Swerve’s house on fire and Swerve just said, “That’s too far. I’m calling the police on you” and there’s no main event steel cage match because Swerve Strickland is pressing charges on Hangman Page? Wow. Great feud you came up with folks. That’s some real wrestling energy. Glad you wrote the story. Cinema.
There is a lot of things we accept in the pro wrestling world and things we don’t. We rarely if ever accept someone shooting a gun or even carrying one in the ring (unless it’s Hikaru Shida) and while someone can bleed out of their forehead as much as they’d like, wrist cuts would cause a wrestling match to end immediately. The fact that in pro wrestling a wrist being cut is considered immediate match stoppage but setting a man on fire is a good spot is why pro wrestling is great.
We don’t watch this to actually see people get hurt. We watch this to see a story about people getting hurt.
We’ve had wrestlers run over. Houses invaded. Forklift assault. Ringbells to the throat. We’ve had wrestlers get in the ring against a bear for over 80 years. We’ve had wrestlers throw fire in another wrestler’s face for just as long. We’ve accepted a world where you could assault a person with a deadly weapon and be fine with a two count from the referee from it.
The most annoying people in movies ask about the cost of damage from a superhero fight. The most annoying people discussing videogames ask how you can hold so much in your inventory. The most annoying people in pro wrestling ask why isn’t Swerve Strickland pressing charges on Hangman Page over fighting him in a steel cage match.
You are not being an observant critic. You are not finding plotholes or inconsistencies. You’re just being annoying.
I’m looking forward to watching Hangman Adam Page and Swerve Strickland fight inside a steel cage in an unsanctioned match at AEW All Out. I bet it’s going to be bloody, violent, and uncomfortable to watch. I expect it to be a match for the ages. I’m sure you’ll be the life of the pay per view viewing party discussing how it’s so much more logical if they went to jail instead. The only person who should be going to jail for pro wrestling in this situation is you.
More PPVPreviews to be up later today.
